Saturday, June 4, 2011

my mother's house

My mother is a minimalist. No actually she's not. I just say that, but she is just someone who hates clutter. "The more things you have, the more there is to collect dust," she always says. My mother's also not that big on color, as you can probably conclude yourself. Sheila Sapp-keepin' it simple, keepin' it clean.

She is British and yes that is a Charles and Diana plate.

This wall is what my mother would consider cluttered. That adorable baby in the middle is me.

The only reason tht picture is hanging on the wall is because it's a picture I took and gave to my mom for her birthday so she feels obligated to hang it. I know that she is bothered by the black frame. She always says thigs like, "maybe we should see what it looks like in a wooden or brown frame? Black is kind of flashy don't you think?"

In case you wanted a closer view of the creepy heads hanging on the wall from the last photo. I spent my whole childhood scared that they would come to life at night and get me. In my imagination, they have a british accent. One of them looks like he is looking right at you, the other one looks like he is looking down. They are exactly the same. Shouldn't they both look like they are looking at the same thing?

Thursday, June 2, 2011

loud noises

My nephew Mason, who is 4 years old, doesn't like loud noises. So much so that he puts on a huge pair of headphones to protect his ears every time he goes outside to play, just in case a motorcycle goes by, or a train, or a loud car, or basically any loud noise that bothers him. I spent some time with him while he played in the sand box and he kept them on the entire time. I like his style.

I'd also like to add my favorite quote from my nephew to date.

"When I get scared food falls right out of my butt." -Mason Hamilton

Tuesday, May 31, 2011


I hurt my back some how a couple days ago and it was pretty bad. It still is bad, but a little better today. I’ve spent the last few days on the couch getting better and watching TV. TV really is crap. I don't usually watch much of it when I'm in Chicago, but being that I am both stuck on the couch and I have access to my parents cable, what the hell. Based on the last few days of excessive TV watching, I have reached a few conclusions. The first is that Kevin James in not funny at all. I already thought that before, but I REALLY think that now. The man seriously just isn't amusing in the slightest bit but despite that, his stupid show is all over place. I think Jerry Stiller carried his ass. The second is that goddam movie Titanic is following me. I know that sounds weird, but everywhere I go, either the movie is showing, that Celine Dion song is playing (I think the cheap market near my apartment just has it on repeat), or someone I know is quoting Billy Zane. Who the hell quotes Billy Zane? Shockingly more then a few people in my life. Shorty after I was hurt, I woke up from a nap to find my whole family was gone, the remote was too far away for me to reach with my injury, and Titanic was on in Spanish. So yeah, that happened. The third conclusion is that I still love me a good Lifetime movie, and I'm sure you know that by good, I mean horrifically terrible. I find it strange that although it is supposed to be "television for women,” it just shows movies that make women seem fucking crazy. Instead of crazy though, these women are described as passionate. They are constantly sleeping with and then killing their best friends husbands, steeling babies that don’t belong to them, stocking men that are only attractive enough to be cast in a lifetime movie-but not quite attractive enough to be in a real movie, or they are living double lives. The last is that-and this is less of a conclusion and more of a realization that I honestly already knew-when I'm faced with the choice of The Golden Girls or Sex In The City-I will choose The Golden Girls EVERY SINGLE TIME. Golden Girls is awesome. Sex In The City can blow me.

I was hoping to take a lot of photographs of Keokuk while I’m here, and maybe I'll still get to take a few, but so far this window is all I've been able to shoot. It’s the window next to the couch that I’m stuck on. Sigh.


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